朗阁雅思培训/ 其他资讯/ 雅思作文范文:对一篇作文的简单评论

雅思作文范文:对一篇作文的简单评论

发布时间:
2020-10-28 14:26:04
编辑:
YAN
摘要:雅思作文范文:对一篇作文的简单评论

It is true that a lot of children, from below 3 to high school, would like to spend time in watching a range of TV programs and videos. One of the most obvious reasons for this is that these are so attractive, vivid and touching our lives that the children who are curious cannot resist their temptation at all.



Some people, especially the parents, argue that this is very damaging. They probably begin by pointing out that their children who are limited in self-control and self-principle will easily take too much time in watching instead of being back to study after doing for a short while. In addition to this, it is well aware that the amount of violence and unhealthy pictures are filled with videos for some reasons. When children who are still simple watch too much amount without any correct guidance, some of them will easily break the laws in the realistic world by imitating the details of crimes.

However, others who disbelieve watching TV or video is bad claim that TV programs and the amount of videos can fully help children understand outside world or relax their stressful brains after intense study. Obviously, those who often watch TV have a wider range of knowledge and better understandings to our society than those who do not. All of this is beneficial to children’s growth and their future social life.

Overall, I would like to say that watching TV or videos are necessary for children who need knowledge and information, but the point is that parents must ensure their children not to watch too much or too long, and at the same time the Government should give a harsh warning to media with overuse of unhealthy contents.

1. This/these这类的词显著不容易用,代指不清;attractive, vivid and touching our lives: 显著的并列结构出错;开始段沒有主旨作者的见解或是作者要在原文中的所做所做。仅仅简易的改变题型。

2. self-principle??? self-discipline? take too much time in watching: 主语是人的情况下,花销是多少時间做某件事,不能用take;instead of being back to study after doing for a short while.:being back to study? 十分怪怪的的表达方式。unhealthy pictures?中文化艺术的表达方式(不健康的图片)pornographic ? it is well aware that the amount of violence and unhealthy pictures are filled with videos for some reasons.: 这一语句中谁充满了哪位?realistic world: real world? non-virtue world?提议改成daily life3. better understandings to our society: understanding 这类的词从不用复数;better understanding to our society?or "of" our society?All of this:all of what? 4. 末尾段中watching TV or videos are ...显著的第三人称奇数不正确;ensure 后边最好用ensure that ... 从句;and at the same time: 提议前边用句点;government为何要英文大写?只有一个government?

全文沒有得出自身的见解,归属于偏题!

雅思托福 【10G】全套备考资料
扫一扫!进群获取独家干货!

相关文章推荐

  • 咨讯

热门专题

  • 雅思口语备考

  • 雅思口语备考

热门好课

更多 >

雅思7分班

对雅思听说读写四项考试达到融会贯通的程度,达到80%以上的做题正确率及雅思7分以上的水平

查看详情

新托福精英112班

完美诠释听说读写各项评分指标及时找到你出分路上的拦路虎,顺利突破出分瓶颈

查看详情

SAT速达提高班

根据OG题目讲解,重点梳理十分点得分点内容,对新SAT题型考试技巧总结

查看详情
【4.5G】全套
资料包免费领